Christmas is weird lol.
Adam and I drove 9 hours up to my parents this past weekend- from Florida’s panhandle to SEKY- to spend the holiday at home, with the family. I’m thrilled that we did; we’ve not driven home since we moved to Florida a year ago, and if it’s for any holiday of course I want it to be for Christmas.
So we drove up, spent a few days hanging out and visiting with my family. On Wednesday, we went North to spend some time with Adam’s family, and on Thursday we made a stop to visit some pals in Lexington… at which point we were nearly stranded by a winter storm. We’re talking frozen rain, a few inches of snow, and basically roads that were completely iced over. OH! And it was -7 degrees Fahrenheit when I woke up yesterday (Friday) morning lol.
So we waited a while, all snuggled up under our buddy Mark’s blankets in a living room that would just NOT get warm enough, until Adam did a test venture out to Taco Bell. That was not our intended lunch, but it was the only thing open so ya gotta take what you can get in a Winter Storm.
Eventually, we made the two hour drive back to my parents’ house. It was at this point, as we discussed our new Christmas plans, that I started pondering on the idea that spurred this blog post.
You see, my mother’s family does a biiiiig Christmas Eve dinner every year. Like, we’re talking 25-40 people. “Oh, that’s not that many; my family has FIFTY people at our party.” First of all, I don’t care. Not a competition. Second, my grandmother’s house is so tiny you can barely pee by yourself at these events, so it makes it feel like there’s even more.
BUT- since we’ve had this Winter Storm Elliot come through and throw this massive wrench in everybody’s plans and lives, we’ve rescheduled this year’s big family dinner. Which means… I won’t be there, I’ll be back home in Florida. Instead, we’re observing altered versions of some of our typical family traditions, and creating entirely new ones along the way.
So I was thinking (hehe) about why I think this is- and basically I’ve decided that it’s the Universe, God, my angels, my ancestors… whoever you want it to be. It’s them, preparing me for the change that is coming. The change that is inevitable in life, but especially when you’re 27 years old and holidays have been roughly the same for..ever.
I’m really grateful that, though. Honestly. I’m grateful I’ve been able to establish these traditions and have these life-long memories. I’m also so very glad for the opportunity to slowly change things- to not have so many of these big, traumatic changes with no opportunity for closure, that would make me feel this massive grief. I get to mourn them slowly, and get to feel grateful for the new memory making opportunities I’m afforded.
So, with this reflection, I’m encouraging y’all to at least TRY to think about any similar issues you might be having in the same way. Change is difficult, life is weird, and this might not apply to your situation. But if it’s even vaguely relevant, I hope it’s useful to you.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy thinkers.